TNP: Celebrity sex ed

2 June 2009
The New Paper

Celebrity Sex Ed

By Kwok Kar Peng

ACTOR Adrian Pang isn’t one of those parents who shies away from talking about sex with his children.

Whether it’s how to use a condom, sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) or homosexuality, the 43-year-old father of two does not believe in beating about the bush when it comes to the birds and the bees.

His sons, Zachary and Xander, are 10 and 9. Adrian said he first spoke to Zachary about sex when the boy was just 6 because he did not want the topic to be shrouded in mystery.

‘Responsibility is a big thing in the Pang household. I try to teach them that on a daily basis on everything,’ he said.

‘Hopefully, they’ll exercise responsibility in any relationship and also respect themselves and others.’

He added: ‘It is the parents’ responsibility to impart the knowledge to their children.

‘When the boys are of an impressionable age, I don’t want them to form their own impressions from others in school.’

Adrian revealed that he also started young – learning about sex, that is. His mother first talked to him about it when he was in Primary 1.

He was the first kid in school to be aware of sex, he claimed with a proud laugh. His mother had then used a colourful picture book to explain to him how babies are made.

My mum told me about it in Pr 1

Adrian has now gone further with his boys – he has demonstrated the use of a condom.

Adrian, who is married to theatre director Tracie Pang, 39, recounted how he came to show his son, Zachary, the way to use a condom.

The boy had asked him last year if ‘there was something a man can use to prevent a sperm from fertilising an egg’.

Adrian said: ‘I showed him a condom and demonstrated it with a banana. And no, I didn’t blush. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of.’

He explained that he’s immune to the embarrassment as the boys have surprised him many times with their questions.

While many Asian parents are uneasy talking to their children about homosexuality, Adrian refuses to evade the issue.

The topic came up one night last year before the boys went to bed.

Zachary had heard several boys in school calling each other names, including the term ‘gay’. He asked Adrian what it meant.

Adrian, who has homosexual friends, said he took a neutral stand. ‘People are born the way they are,’ he said.

‘I’m a firm believer in ‘to each his own’ and as long as you are true to yourself and are not hurting anyone, I have no issue with it.’

He said he told his sons that one’s sexuality and sexual orientation is a mere component of who they are. Heterosexual or homosexual, people should just be good people, he added.

Next on the agenda is the issue of promiscuity and its dangers, he said.

And while many parents would urge their kids to abstain from pre-marital sex, Adrian said he’s not going to enforce a blanket ban.

Personal thing

‘Pre-marital sex is a personal thing between a man and a woman who want to be close physically,’ he pointed out.

And it would be hypocritical for him to preach pre-marital sex because if his kids asked if he and his wife did it as well, he didn’t want to lie to them.

But, Adrian added, he would tell his sons that Daddy and Mummy loved each other very much when they made the decision.

‘When it comes to their first time (having sexual intercourse) and every subsequent time, I hope it will be something special and meaningful, with someone special.

‘That’s the ideal situation, but I also make sure they understand the realities of the world.’


1 Response to “TNP: Celebrity sex ed”

  1. 1 Matt Carter 5 June 2009 at 10:55 am

    Wow!! This is such a great way to talk to your kids about sex. Just come out with it. Sex has been a “taboo” subject for too long. We shouldn’t be embarrassed talking to our kids about it. I have a son that is 6 and his little mind is full of curiosities. I think the time to have “the talk” is drawing near. I applaud your approach and I’d be willing to bet your kids will grow up with a much better understanding about sex. Also, just them knowing they can speak to dad about anything is going to strenghten your relationship and what dad doesn’t want that.

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